In this World that I Borrow

Life gets crazy sometimes... and I often forget to stop and think about what is really going on around me.  I worry about the little things like what I am going to wear for the day, how much homework I am going to have, or even as little as what kind of cheese I am going to put on my sandwich.  These are all legitimate things I worry about on a day to day basis.  I don't know about you but... these things can get pretty stressful... Sometimes (after spending a good 10 minutes worrying) I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that these things don't really matter all that much...  I forget to worry about the big things in life, like:  Who worries about the homeless people on the streets?  Who worries about the pollution from all our cars?  Who worries about kids living in poverty?  While I am at the beach getting my tan on, I rarely think about who is freezing in the cold because they don't have enough clothes to keep themselves warm.  When I am stuck in traffic, I rarely think about the less fortunate who don't even have cars to drive who walk everywhere they go.  When I am stuck in MY WORLD thinking about what outfit I am going to wear, or what cheese to put on my sandwich I am failing to see the big picture.

I often get stuck in this "me world" where everything I think about is what has to do with my life.  Ya I think about the homeless when I see them on the street, I think about the kids in poverty, but I never do anything about these things.  We think about them and then we let them slip by because they have nothing to do with our life.  We let the little things of our lives become big things; and the big problems of the world become the little things.  We should strive to make this "me world" go away.  We aren't going to be living on this world forever; it is like we are borrowing this world to hand it off to the next people to come and take care of it.  God lent us this world to see the bad things in it, to see the big problems and to do something about them; to help the homeless on the street, give to the needy, lend a hand to the helpless, be a crutch for the wounded, and to heal the broken.  I encourage everyone this week to do something nice for someone you don't know.  Look around you; pay attention to your "borrowed world" and take note of the big picture, take note of the big things in your life and worry about them.  Instead of worrying about these little things we always worry about, take time out of your day to worry about the big borrowed world we live in, and make it a better place for the next lenders.

The Room of my Own

If you have not gotten a fresh start on life and moved away from home, or your home town, I strongly advise you do so.  In my experience it has been the greatest thing I was ever able to do for myself.  Sure there are times when I want to be home, have a home cooked meal, cry on my moms shoulder when nothing goes the way I please, have my dad fix anything I need fixing, go play a round of golf with the family whenever I want, have late night talks with my brother about the most interesting things; ya, I miss all these things greatly.  I even miss the little things like watching the stars late at night, the silence of the snow falling on a cold winters day, or even the smell of the rain as it falls on the sidewalk.  But I get by because I know these things will all be there when I return for my next visit home.  These things are my basis for where I grew up, they are things that put the biggest smile on my face because it reminds me of home.  Home is where my heart is, it is where I grew up and where I established who I wanted to become because of the great examples in my life.  But now it is time for me to make my own home and establish that person I decided I wanted to become so long ago.  With these great memories of home I have no fear that I can go out into this big world and make my own path through it, do my own thing, and become who I want to be.  

Two years ago I began this new chapter, this new path to my life.  Since then I have been greatly blessed with amazing new friends, awesome support from my family and many experiences I wouldn't take back for anything.  As I moved back to San Diego for my third year in college I realized how happy I truly am here in my own place I established for myself.  Two years ago I decided to move here, to start my own chapter and to become who I wanted to become.  This was the best thing I have ever done for myself.  Since then I have learned many lessons in life and even though some of them were very difficult to go through I am grateful for the opportunities I have been given.  Without these opportunities I wouldn't be the woman I am today.  I am happy in this new place of mine, I am happy in this new room of my own that I built it for myself.  I made a pathway to happiness for myself because in these past two years I have learned what makes me happy, I learned what I want out of my life and how to go out there and get it.  This doesn't mean that I am not sad at times when I miss my family, when I just want to be with my boyfriend, or even when I miss the simple things like a home cooked meal or the stars at night.  It doesn't mean that its easy when I have to stay up late to study for finals, or when I have to balance work and school to make money to get by.  It just means that getting out and experiencing the world around you, and finding your true self is an important part of life and we ALL need to experience this.  We ALL need to build a "room of our own".