I wish... I wish... I wish...

Over the past two years of my college experience I have spent a lot of time wishing on what I thought I wanted my life to be like.  It sometimes was the simple things like how I wished I lived in a bigger room my freshman year.. or how I wished I wasnt a freshman at all.  Sophomore year things began to become a bigger deal and pretty soon I was wishing for much greater things.  It was this year in my college life that I got placed on academic probation.. No, I am not proud of this, but I learned a lot from this trying time in my life.  It was this point in my life where I looked at all the "smart" people around me and thought... "I wish it came easy for me..."  I wished that I could be smart like them and not have to study as hard for the C grades I was getting.  Life for me at this time was probably the hardest it has ever been.  I felt lost and alone and no one could help me but myself.  When I stopped wishing I was that "smart" person and picked up the books, I became "that" person.  Second semester I got off probation and going through that time of my life was actually a good thing.  I learned a lot from that period in my life, and now I know I can conquer anything God hands me.  In order for me to get through that time, I had to stop looking at other people and wishing I were them... I had to look at myself and ask myself what I had to do to become the person I wanted to be, not anyone else.

This is where the main point of this blog begins... I spend so much time in my life looking at other people and comparing myself to them and wishing I could be like them or have the things they have.  I wish I didnt have to worry about money, I wish I could be the rich guy on the block who just has all the money he needs for anything he wants to go out and buy.. but then I realize that is not in my cards right now.  And while I do this to myself, it becomes a cycle of just putting myself down.  I cant work enough to make that much money, I cant zoom through college and get a job to be making that kind of money.  I have to get there step by step in my own way.  So my question to you is... how many of us waist our time playing the "I wish" game.. How many of us compare ourselves to others and just want their life, or are just plain jealous of their life.  I am pretty sure we are all the same way.  We all do these things that are natural in our everyday life, that naturally put us down.  It is time to pick yourself up and realize that you can be whoever you want to be! But that does not mean you should just be whoever you see around you.  We have to be our OWN people, we have to be beautiful in our own way.. Stop looking at your neighbor and being jealous of their life, stop seeing a nice car and wishing you had it, stop wishing you were skinny like the girl on tv or that you had nice clothes like the girls on your campus.  We all are our own special selves and we can make ourselves whoever we want to become.  I am beautiful in my own special way, and so are you.  We dont have to compare ourselves to each other to see that.  Jesus doesnt compare us to each other.  He doesnt sit back in a chair and judge who he loves more; he doesnt love anyone more!  Jesus loves us all the same, and do you know why? Because we are all beautiful in his eyes!! We were made beautiful in his image.  So instead of wishing you were the student who had it easy, turn to yourself and thank God that you dont have it that way.  I am who I am because of these things I have gone through, and I honestly believe I am more "beautiful" because of them.  Go about your days, smile at everyone you see, love everyone around you because we are all equals on this earth; there isnt anyone out there better than anyone else, so make the world a better place and beYOUtiful, be genuinely YOU, be unique the way God made you, dont get caught in the "I wish... I wish... I wish..." game.

Lost and Found at Sea

So this song randomly came into my life this week.  It kept playing in my car and the more and more I listened to and sang along to it, the more and more I fell in love with it.  When I realized today I hadnt posted my blog, I realized I should probably do that so I started thinking about what I was going to write and decided to call it Lost and Found at Sea.  Then I remembered this song.  So I would like to start this post with the lyrics to this song and if you get the chance listen to Mayday by The Icarus Account, because it really is a good song.

Mayday Mayday
Someone save me
I am fragile
Oh somebody rescue me
Oh somebody tell me you will
Concrete Heartache Left me awake
Sleepless Sleeper
Oh somebody wake me up
Oh somebody tell me you will
Tell me that you're going to save me
That everything is gonna be ok
I'm screaming but nobody can hear me
Can you save me from myself? No, no, no, no
How can the be? I've tried and tried and tried
But I'm sill lost out at sea
When did I become the things that
I used to hate I'm stranded to this ship
Left to fall with a crash of the waves (mayday)
Tell me that you're going to save me That everything is gonna be ok
I'm screaming but nobody can hear me
Can you save me from myself? Mayday Mayday Mayday


Many times in my life I have felt lost out at sea, and I often wonder if I will be found.  I look around me and realize that this is normal; it is normal for me to feel stress, to worry about things, or to feel anxiety over some things.. this is normal, yes, but it is not the end of the world.  We are fragile human beings and sometimes the littlest things get to us, and we dont even realize it.  We stress about grades in school, we stress about work if its not going the way we would like, we worry about what we look like in the eyes of others, whether we are strong or whether we are weak, we are all fragile.  It is easy to break us, its just not easy to realize these little things that are getting to us.  Sometimes unhappiness, or heartache can be like concrete on the heart; it is a heavy burden to carry.  Especially if you dont even realize you are carrying it.  Jesus carried his cross, he carried burdens, and whether or not this was as tough as ours, he gave us the ability to carry them and get through it.  However I do not believe this has to happen alone.. Jesus also gave us each other to help with the burdens we carry.  We are not supposed to walk through this world alone, we are not supposed to be going through hard times alone.  So look around you and find that someone who is there to help you.  You cannot expect to do this alone because we were not made strong enough to handle all our burdens alone.  When you realize that you are having a hard time with something, or that you are lost, then scream for somebody to help you, do not shut everyone out because there is someone in that crowd that is there to help you.  I believe someone will be there to hear you, and they can save you from your pain.  If you have to call a Mayday and no one hears you, then talk to the one who hears all your cries.  Talk to God, find peace in him and he will give you rest.  God is powerful and merciful and he will never let us hurt when we are crying out.  Often times when I am lost, the first place I think to go is to God.  Turn to him and he will put a smile on your face, he will be the lighthouse you need to find your way home, he will tell you that "everything is going to be ok."