The Fear of my Borrowed World

Last week was another hard week for me in school, (surprise surprise right?)  I have faced many challenges at this school and it just seems like they keep piling on top of each other.  Last week I got some bad news back on some exams received more stress with work and my attitude was on the negative side lets just say.  There are many things going on in my life and they can get very stressful at times.  Many people dont realize this about me, because most of the time I hide it pretty well.  The more and more I reflect on what I am going through the more I learn about myself and what I am truly going through.  I have this quote on the window of my car that says "Life's short, Heavens longer".  I forget to live by this sometimes... ok, actually this is most of the time, but everyone is like that right?  We all freak out about the little things in life and we forget to stop and really think about what is going on around us, and how big of a deal this "little" thing really is... This is the story of my life lately... I forget to stop and think about the big picture rather than just stressing about the little things and letting them affect the big things in my life.  You see, I start to stress about not succeeding and feeling like I am dumb, and I shut down and make myself believe maybe I am not cut out for this.  I fear that I am not supposed to be doing this because it is so hard for me.  It wasnt until a week of feeling this way that God sent me a sign...  

In my poetry class we do a lot of group work together and last week I was paired with the answer to my problems.. The answer to this "Fear" I felt..  It was in this hour that I realized that school is hard for more people than just me! I have nothing handicapping me from learning or doing the things I love to do.  I can walk everywhere I go, I can drive my car to school whenever I need to, I can read and write like mostly everyone else in this world.  The thing I dont realize on a day to day basis is that there are other people around us that dont have these simple capabilities.. Some people cant read, some people cant write, some people cant speak everything they want to when they want to say it.  This is what stopped the fear inside me.  I realized that nothing can stop me from learning and succeeding in my life.  There is nothing handicapping me from my dreams.  Even if these dreams are dreams I fear...  These people who live with these handicaps; who have a hard time learning, who have a hard time reading because of something they cant even help, still come to school, they still live their life and they are still HAPPY!!!  This is truly amazing to me! God is truly amazing, and I am so very blessed!  There is nothing in this world that can bring me down and make me feel like I cant do it. There are things in this world that give me strength to move on and succeed and do whatever it is I have to do to succeed.  God sent me this experience because he knew I would see it and learn from it.  And the message I took home with me is that.. There are people out there who have it harder than I do and they dont give up.  They keep trucking through some of the hardest things they have ever faced, things I will never face in my life.  This is amazing to me! When I think I have it bad, I think of other people and the fact that they have it just as hard as me if not harder and they still make it through.  I can do this!! I can succeed in school, and I can make this fear go away.  We all have fears in our life, but being able to get past them is a whole other story in itself.  Label your fears, dont hide them away in the back of your closet behind all your clothes for no one to see!  First realize that you fear things, and then let people know your fears.  Share your fears with the people around you who can help you find your way!  This way you have nothing hiding in your closet.  Life will be a better place and you will be a truly happy person!  This happiness will affect the ones around you and it will spread like wild fire.  IT is amazing what one smile can do to the person who is having a bad day, or the person who fears the same thing you do.  Maybe the people who surround you are going through the same thing you are and if you dont share them you will never know and you will never be able to fix it.  Be loud and proud of this fear.  I fear failing and not being able to get to my final goal in life.  But at the moment I am working at fixing this.  What are your fears?? And how are you going to be able to fix them? 

We have a very short time to fix all these things.  "Life is short, Heaven is longer"  Make your short time on this earth a great time that you will never forget or regret!!!  Reflecting on the past 21 years of my life, there is nothing I regret... There are things I have feared.. yes, but nothing I regret.  I got through those fears and I know I can get through the fears of my future and the fear of my present.  I have been truly blessed over my past two decades and I thank my family and closest friends for helping me through everything I have gone through!! I look forward to the years to come, and the fears I am about to face!!! Just remember nothing is as hard as we make it.  Its a short time we are here and people around us are going through harder things than us.  So stop and think about that when you think your world is "crashing down" around you.  Be happy and look at the bright side of life :) Know that you are Loved, and God holds you in the palm of his hand! There is nothing you fear that is greater than Gods grace and guidance through it all!! He will guide you in right ways!! Honor this, live by this.  Dont forget to treasure ones around you, for we dont know how long they will be there.  Let people in, dont shut your doors on them!  Experience the most you can in this short time we have!!  Take NOTHING for granted!!!

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy burdened, for I shall give you rest" <Mathew 11:28>