Life As I Know It

A lot of you may know I think about a lot of things and my mind races pretty much all day.  It wanders and often thinks about things a little too deeply.. Some things hit me hard and I just cant seem to stop thinking about them.  That has seemed to happen to me this past week.  Not in a bad way at all but man I just couldnt shut my mind off.  Life has really taught me a lot this past week.

I woke up last Friday July 20, and found out about the movie massacre that happened in Colorado.  The week before my God Mom lost a great friend to an alcohol addiction.  And two days after the shooting I found out horrible news that a dear friend of mine lost her husband in a lightening storm.  These things all hit pretty quickly and made me think a lot about life.  I began to pray and reflect on the lives of my loved ones around me including my own life.  
When I found out about the shooting in Colorado I was very saddened.  All those innocent people lost their lives because someone wanted attention.  It hurts me and saddens me that someone who needs that much help doesnt find it until its too late and until many innocent lives are taken away from this world.  Mom's wont be able to take their daughters out shopping, Dad's wont be able to walk their baby girls down the isle for their wedding day, Husbands/Wives are left behind with a love that can never return.  All these relationships and many more were ruined all because this guy needed some attention and felt lost.  Who knows what was really going on in his head, but the fact is he killed people and doesnt seem to feel much remorse about it.  He took so many things away from this world because he was selfish.  I mean dont people that do this ever think about other lives? Other people? Dont they ever wonder what their Moms would do without them?  No! They dont, and that is the problem.  He didnt think about the future and how people would feel, or what he was taking away from this world.   

I went to church today and our priest talked about the suffering that the world, the nation and even just individuals are facing on a day to day basis.  We are all going through some sort of suffering whether its losing someone close to us in a shooting, an accident, or even just because their time here was up and God needed them.  The truth is we all feel it and we are all affected by it.  Its what we do with it that matters.  You can pretty much turn on the news, read the newspaper, open a magazine and get pretty depressed with whats going on in the world out there.  But why should we get depressed from it?  Ya, sure for some things we should be depressed.. but we are still here on this earth for a reason.  We need to make the difference these people werent able to make.  We need to live in their name and remember life is just a short time down here.  We need to make the best of it.  God gave us this life and we should live it and enjoy it.  Pray for the innocent lives James Holmes took away from this world and their loved ones, pray for their families who are suffering right now, pray for families suffering from accidental deaths.  Pray for everyone out there who might be going through a tough time, pray for the troops who fight for our country every day and their families who sacrifice their time with their loved ones to let them fight for us.  There are so many people out there suffering over many different reasons, but one thing I witness to be true is that prayer and support helps more than we will ever know.  Just watching a friend go through it has taught me so much! Just one simple prayer can warm their hearts for a minute and give them hope that everything is going to be ok.  And if just one prayer can do that then what can many do?  A whole lot more than that! God is on our side, he gave us this life.  So pray for the ones who are suffering so we can lift them up and become the One Nation Under God that we say we are.

This life, as I know it, is pretty dang amazing!! I am so blessed with loved ones around me all the time!! I have awesome friends and a family that is always there for me when I ask them to be, and even when I dont ask them to be.  I am one lucky girl!!  And for all these blessings in my life I thank God! He has always been there for me and knows just what I need in my life.  God is great and life is good!! AMEN!!

A Thorn in My Side

I finally was able to attend church again yesterday.  After a few weeks of not being able to go it was much needed.  However Alexa and I did feel a little rusty.. but we did good and as usual I got some good advice to my life.  I just have to confess that I am so blessed and I am so glad my parents raised me Catholic.  So many times my faith has pulled me through so many things and I can honestly say if I didnt attend church as much as I do I wouldnt be where I am today.  I go to church and feel like my life gets figured out there. God is amazing and I would be lost without him in my life!! But anyways..

Everybody in this life has thorns in their sides.  Whether it be a burden that stays with us: maybe not being able to forgive someone maybe an inner struggle we hold within ourselves, maybe a fight we have had with friends or family members or maybe just the simple bad things that happen to us on a daily basis. I have held many thorns in my side over many different reasons.  Right now I hold the thorn of my future in my side.  I worry about where I will be in one year, I worry about ending my college career in hopes for a good future but in the failure of where my college life has lead me.  Having been on probation and getting off I am still graduating from this amazing college.  While that feels like a huge accomplishment it also hurts my chances at the future I once wanted so bad.  I will continue to hold this thorn in my side for this year and it will continue to hurt here and there, but it is going to push me to be a better person and hopefully make it possible for me to do whatever God has planned out for me.  I look back to my past and realize I have had pains like these before and I have gotten through them.  I have only gotten through them by praying, attending church, and listening to God.  My Faith has gotten me through these hard times, and it has never failed me.  My parents raised me with the most important thing I will carry with me through my life and thats my faith.  I would be lost without it.  These thorns that stick with us will only go away through our very own faith.  The thing I havent really thought about is that it is OUR faith, no one elses.  Each of our faiths are different from anyone else's.  Not everyone gets something from attending church like I do, but maybe they get something more from just being outside talking to God or in some other way.  They are still experiencing the same Faith just in a different way.  Faith is believing something is there and knowing that this thorn in our side is soon going to go away because of the power of God.  I believe God is there for me, I pray to him for healing because I know the miracles he once performed and I know he will not let me suffer. These thorns are positive things in our lives.  We suffer through them because they are the pain that Jesus once felt, and we dont feel as hurt as he did because he saves us from that kind of pain.  They are put in our lives to challenge us and make us better human beings.  We have seen many people get through their thorns and heal from them.  I am not going to get through this thorn by attending church or by praying for the answer but more from listening to God and knowing that my faith will carry me through.  I have faith that God will help me through, he will grab my hand and walk with me, he will talk to me and pick me up.  My very own faith is what is going to get this thorn out of my side and I cannot wait to see where it leads me.  I cannot wait for the next thorn in my side because I know I grow so much from all of them.  

No Regrets with an Open Door for my Future

I have been through a rough patch in my life through this past semester of my Junior Year of college.  As I look back on it now I thank God for every single trying day I had because I am the stronger woman I am because of those days.  While I made a decision and wasnt quite sure why I had to make it I knew deep down inside it was the right thing to do.  I only knew this because of my trust in the Lord and my Faith in God to pull me through.  I have been through hard times in my life and while they may not have been the best times in my life they were times where I felt most secure.  This may sound weird and a lot of people say they would feel the least secure in these times.  But no, I felt secure.  I made a decision that I had prayed about for a long time, and when I felt I got an answer from God I went with it.  I went with it knowing it was the right decision but not knowing how I would get through it.  I felt secure in knowing I was making the right decision because it was based on my faith in the Lord.  I felt secure knowing he would get me through whatever was to come my way, and he really has.  It isnt over, I still get sad and I stop to wonder here and there, but these thoughts dont stop me from knowing I am a stronger woman because of that decision and I am getting through this on my own.

I stood up for myself.  I stood up for something that I believed in, and I made a decision that may have changed the rest of my life for the better.  I left something great, but opened the door for something greater to enter my life.  Everything happens for a reason and I dont regret anything in my life.  We all have Love enter our lives when we least expect it, and some may say it also leaves us when we least expect it.  This Love that I had was great dont get me wrong, but over the last little while I have learned that I deserve a Love much greater than that one.  Why are we meant to have multiple relationships filled with Love if we are just going to leave it later down the road for "the one" Love?  I asked myself this question.. And while I probably will never find the exact answer, here is my version of the answer.  I was meant to have multiple relationships fulfilled with the blessing of Love so I could learn from each kind, walk away from each one, and experience some kind of Love greater than the last.  Every Love I have experienced has taught me something new and made me realize something new from the last.  Love builds off itself and teaches you new things all the time.  While some of us find Love only once and leave this world with only that one relationship, others of us have multiple relationships with different kinds of Love.  But with each new Love the love grows into something unimaginable, something greater than the last because it builds off the last one.  I am grateful for every Love because of where it has lead me in life today.  I look forward to the building of my Love.  I look forward to making it stronger with more relationships whether it be friends or lovers.  I will not regret my past because it is from my past where my future lies.  So be strong in yourself.  Know the power you hold in your life and take advantage of it.  Stand up for what you believe is right even if your scared.  Do not fear Love.  Love with your whole heart and nothing less; God created Love for a good purpose so make good use of it.  Learn from Love.. Love will only become useless and a regret if you dont learn from it.  Know what you want deep down inside and fight for it. If its not the Love you have now then have the faith and strength to stand up and fight for what you know you deserve.  I deserve a better Love, I learned a lot from my past Love, but mainly that I deserve something greater, something unimaginable, something that is about to knock me off my feet.  Whether that be the end of the search for Love or not, I am ready.  I am ready to learn, I am ready to Love whenever that may be.  I fought for what I know I deserve and so can you.  Dont be afraid, fight for what you know is right, learn from your past and open the door for your future.  

Just Another Day in History

I have overheard so many countless conversations this past week about what girls are doing for Valentines day.  On top of that, I cant count how many times I have heard (with a negative tone) that girls dont have anyone so why should it matter anyways?  Its singles awareness day right?  WRONG! It does matter and no one is alone! Some people need to realize the real meaning of Valentine's Day, or look at it with a better attitude.  Valentine's Day is not all for the meaning of romantic love, but also includes the meaning of love.  You love your family right? You love your friends right? So go out and experience that world on your own! Your single, your alone on Valentine's... who cares? This is a time for you to go out and learn who you really want to be.  Text your mom, tell her you love her. Call dad and tell him you love him too! Tell everyone who you really care about that they mean something to you in your life, and quit feeling sorry for yourself.  There are many times in my life where I could look back and be depressed about this holiday, but then I realize that I have a lot of loving people in my life, and no matter how alone I will feel on that day, I am never alone.  To me this holiday is about Love and no matter what that love is whether it be romantic love or just friendship love, its LOVE and thats all I really need.  "All ya need is love" as the beatles would put it :) Love is all ya need!!  So get up this week and put a smile on, forget about the depressed singles awareness attitude and wake up from loneliness.  Hold the ones around you close because you never know when you are going to lose them.  And dont let this holiday end.  Spread love every where you go, every day for the rest of your life.  Valentine's day doesnt have to end! Men shouldnt need a day to tell their wives how much they truly mean to them or how much they truly love them.  Women shouldnt need a day to receive chocolates and red roses and whatever else comes with this day, because we all love each other the same every other day.  So why not start now and celebrate it year round.  This Holiday is not a depressing day, so wake up from depression rise up and defeat yourself.  You are the product of your own attitude and attitude is a choice. Be positive and be happy that you are alone, or be happy that you are not alone and you have someone.  But just be happy no matter where you are in life because you were meant to be where you are today whether that be alone or not.  So I wish you all a very Happy Valentine's Day, whether single, in a relationship, in between that, married, wherever your heart has led you, be happy and grateful for where you are today, because when it comes down to it, God is love and you wouldnt be where you are without him.  So Happy Valentine's Day God, you have given me the gift of Love and that has gotten me so far in life; experiencing many challenges and learning along the way, and for that I am eternally grateful.

The World of My Own, but Shared by Many

While I was searching my soul a little bit tonight, I encountered a letter from a long time ago in my personal notebook.  I decided to share it with you because reading back over it, I realized a lot of people are going through the same thing as me, and many have already gone through the same thing as me.  Enjoy reading!  This was written almost two years ago at the end of my freshman year of college.  It was written to myself and as a prayer to myself for my future.

My Dearest Child,

Amen I say to you, God is always there and here for you. No matter where you are in life. He is with you when you are joyous and when you are sad. He is with you when you are in the light and he is with you when you are in the dark. When you found out you got accepted to USD, he was sitting right beside you cheering you on, and when you let yourself and others around you down he was there beside you. When you felt discouraged to move on, he gave you the strength to move on and with the support of your brothers and your parents you were given the courage to do so. God gave you this difficult time so you could learn from it and make the future better. There are people who have touched your life this year and made you who you are today. Jeanette gives you the want to go out and help the less fortunate. Your brother gives you the strength and knowledge to know that no matter what happens or what grade you get that it doesnt define who you are today.

There are things about you that are amazing gifts from God! You are always positive and can look at almost any situation and pull out the positive. Never change. Spread love with a smile, and be kind hearted. Just like Mom taught you. You are a strong woman and no one can change how strong you are. Never change.

Promise yourself and God that this summer you will walk, run, and sprint with the Lord.  You will walk with him by your side in your stressful days. You will run with him in your faith life and let it grow in you.  You will sprint forward to the faith you are about to encounter. Promise to learn and keep your heart open to whatever you need to and to God. Peace; be peaceful and feel peace.  Spread peace to the ones around you. You are awesome and dont let anyone else tell you otherwise. You are strong and no matter what, you can walk over any bridge you encounter. Through the love of God there is strength, and that is all you need. I love you, God loves you, and your family loves you! No matter what they are always with you!

God Bless! And Know that You are Loved!!